I think I finally have to accept blame on what happened, somebody does…and I will go forward and say that it is has to be me.
I did not work at our relationship, and by god, you have to work at it a hell of a lot or it all falls apart, you have to realise this I think AT THE TIME or you are screwed... I walked away from it like a coward because?...I don’t honestly know, I can speculate...25 years of being single I think puts you into a extreme situation, one that your not ready for….and certainly I did dive into the deep end very much so, and ever since the age of about 19 I have fought depression...its there running along parallel with you in everyday life...you can push it away for a tiny while but it comes back. I would say that people have to be aware of this...that you cannot receive or give love when you are depressed, which puts extreme stress on your relationship, far away from home (very far away) adds to the depression I think (not altogether sure on this one) ...but it was communication that was the much needed thing, but then the person you love doesn’t want to hear what you have to say, and wont leave you alone either. It is a extremely difficult situation and anybody who goes through this has my sincere sympathies.
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