I’ve cottoned onto the fact that I seem to be a neurotic perfectionist. It’s not good...it's not good at all...but, to drag a positive into it (hopefully not optimistically but realistically) it’s good to come into the knowledge / awareness of the problem, because you can then fight it.
It’s the reason I’m not happy with any of my animations...it’s the reason I can't find any satisfaction with anything...
So battle has commenced...I don’t know, I’ve always thought that if you gave me a large team and I got onto making the films the way I want them made (sets, miniatures and actors) that I might emerge out of it....I might end up satisfied and happy...but I’m not sure I would. BUT...I want to get to that stage to SEE if I would...surely I would be?...we don't know, we don't know.
But with this knowledge now acquired....it means that it's a mental problem, a mental illness...and so other people enjoy what I’ve done but I cannot....so it means I should not hide what I’ve done....it's all beginning to make a lot of sense because I believe a lot of creative people are like this...it's a huge piece of the puzzle... I've encountered a lot of them (but just never knew what the problem was with all of us)...
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