EMAILING PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW VERY WELL - WITH LONG EXPLANATIONS ON MISUNDERSTANDINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED OVER THE LAST 5 MONTHS:

This is all about my next door neighbour, who possibly MIGHT think that my cheese has fallen off my cracker. Personally, I felt that there was this build up of misunderstanding, but I think I’ve screwed things up further, My mother is right, I shouldn’t have sent anything...but I was just wanting some large communication / pouring out of mind - of how I feel, to be written down and sent out, there is so much misunderstanding in the world, its huge. I thought maybe it would help, and I hope it has. But I have this horrible feeling that it hasn’t.

I've just today started to read about the self-fulfilling prophecy, which I think is maybe what this is?...which is upsetting, I must learn to relax though, and not worry too much about what has happened.

I think past events go towards my problem. And as a good friend of mine said to me recently, I try very very hard, a lot of the time to be understood because of my past.

The thing is that while it’s a big deal to me, its very possible that it may not be a big deal to them. Its further possible that they may not even remember most of what it is your going on about...we just don’t know. My life is so very low key that every time I go outside and interact with people, I come back and remember the entire thing with a lot of detail.

This is the third time that its happened. The first was a girl at college, the second was the South West Scottish Screen Commissioner and now the next door neighbour. Well actually the South West Scottish Screen Commissioner was getting a bit of a blasts of personal problems on the production of my film, it was something that I didn’t need to write out to him, but maybe because I have no social life, I feel the urge to write out problems in long letters as there’s no other way to get it out of you, except for in a blog. But maybe a letter to a single individual is more immediate, no, that doesn’t make sense, emailing a letter with your problems to a stranger doesn’t make any sense at all...I don’t think altogether a good thing because its probably out of context for the person at the other end.

But I think what I mean here is that with a blog you feel nobody is reading it, and with letter, you know that what your writing out is going to be read at least once.