BlipTV Test

I’ve been making films and animations full time eighteen hours a day, seven days a week now for seven years...without making any money at it. This you will understand puts huge amounts of pressure on me because it means that (so far) I am justifiably a true failure at it. I did try various things to make money, all of which were failures...so now I’m attempting something called BlipTV.



Please if at all possible report back to me and say if you see any advertising on this video above. And to add here that this is new version of While They Slept.

A TINY BIT OF SATURN 7

It's going very slow at the moment. And I honestly get rather depressed about it...i'll probably feel better when I've had some sleep though.

DOWSWELL ON DOWSWELL PART 5 OF 6

SERENDIPITY

Now serendipity definitely had a huge part to play in all of this (on multiple occasions) for example: when I shot my four silent short documentaries in 2006, they were very big (completely out of the blue) unplanned accidents, I never thought that they would edit together so well to music...and that the footage would be so good (you see a lot of it was only one take because that’s what documentary making with animals is like. The music itself too was also a accident, because I bought the wrong classical CD...which is rather embarrassing...but, my only line of defence is, that there are actually eight famous classical composers with the name Strauss...I just thought “oh waltzes, I want those!...oh there he is...waltzes...Strauss”...and bought it….it’s kinda stupid I know, but there it is. What’s strange is how well the music syncs up with the visuals which is either serendipity again or perhaps classical music just naturally fits to these things.

With my first animation...that too was a odd story where I was animating a walk cycle (a extremely difficult task as all animators know) and found the legs of the character floating / sliding...like he was in the air...so I then accidentally had him taking off...I thought to myself “well I could put a rocket on his back here”

GETTING CONCERNED THAT THINGS AREN’T GOING FAST ENOUGH

For quite a few years I was really on edge about time wastage...as the years go by you cannot help but think about your situation…”I’m not making any money here”…“I’m not leaping forward fast enough”...“I’m wasting my twenties”…”I’m incredibly frustrated because I’m not doing the films with miniatures, sets and actors”.

It's still occasionally one of my major concerns for me...that I suddenly have this moment where I REALISE that a large amount of time has gone past me, without me even realising that it has. Seven years has pretty much flown past, and I feel I’ve not really got very far along the road to making money at this.

WAS I A JACK OF ALL TRAITS AND MASTER OF NONE?

...it is true that I have never become a master of say character animation or upping my technical direction game...I’m really not a technical director but you have to realise that I do take on that job as well as all the other jobs too (on all of my projects)...but I think the projects suffer for this reason.

Some people will tell you you’re a jack of all traits and master of none and I don’t think they realise how damaging that can be to a young unconfident mind. These organisms are usually people who are not trying to be independent directors and don’t fully understand what they’re talking about.

DAVID P. BAKER

Now pretty much about 80% of what David says I already knew...but, it’s what you forget about, over the months / years of working away that he urgently reminds you with.

David’s shake up / earth shattering moment / knock blow into reality boost / tragic moment for me was, that if you want to make money at this (and haven’t been making money at it) and want to remain 100% independent, then you are going to have focus on targeting / reaching the audience for six months after you have made the film...it makes perfect sense, I mean what is the point in making these things...pouring every single piece of your soul into making the film to then rush and not think it through properly / end up only showing it to a handful of people. The right people need to know that there is a film out there they might be interested in. So it becomes very much a game of patience and hard work...your going to have to be very much a committed to six months of no filmmaking.

This for me is earth shattering because I make solo animations...which have very small runtimes and very, very large production times...I’m really not quite sure where it goes to next for me.

A FUNNY, UPLIFTING AND FASCINATING VIDEO

"Bobby McFerrin demonstrates the power of the pentatonic scale, using audience participation, at the event "Notes & Neurons: In Search of the Common Chorus", from the 2009 World Science Festival, June 12, 2009."

AGAIN ANOTHER TWO PIECES...AND AGAIN ONE NEW TO ME AND ONE FROM MY PAST

The first one is Handel again, and the second is by Reynaldo Hahn

TWO MUST HAVE MUSIC CHOICES

I recently discovered a piece of music by Handel which I would definitely use for a feature film documentary...I can see that the Handel might go at the very start of the film for the title card...and the Vivaldi which ive had my eye on for some time now would be good on the road music I think.

LONG THOUGHT TO BE LOST OR DESTROYED HOUR LONG HITCHCOCK INTERVIEW

WHAT HAPPENS DURING METAL MELTDOWN?

Well I tweet a lot. I start to think a lot too...there’s a lot going on in the old brain right now. I seem to want a better camera. But I want to use the camera I’ve already got too...but I would really like to use that place I discovered a while back called Create Space which is a self publishing and distribution place...I’m absolutely fascinated with that idea and it keeps resurfacing in my mind.

I watched a little bit of the first episode of the new Steven Fry documentary too...Last Chance To See its called...its too big a file to download though so had to stop, it looks great though (well editing was a bit too frantic for my tastes if I was to nit pick)...but again there I am greatly inspired by it...it’s a wonderful thing the documentary format. I want to use my camera I have (because the damn thing has hardly been used you know...)...to make a feature docu...but I want to make damn sure it’s a good one...this would be the first time for me to take on a feature, so far its all been shorts…some sort of adventure across Scotland...maps are fascinating things...and you can get a story by just simply starting to walk...It’s a tried and tested idea, but its one that nearly always works.

I also had the idea of doing either a solo debut synthesiser album or book...which I can again use Create Space for self publishing and distribution. If I can get past the horrendous self doubt and actually record some tracks...this MAY be possible. I had a go tonight on the Korg and it wasn't so bad. I think it’s a fairly tangible idea actually. It might be quite experimental...hell it might even be FUN. I’m meant to be getting away from the computer though. Hmm.

MENTAL MELTDOWN

Ok, prepare for whining attack!

I’m experiencing at the moment what can only be described is some sort of very bad burnout. I think there’s multiple meanings behind the word burnout...but my one at the moment is, that I’m just really mentally and physically tired...exhausted. You see I find the technical aspects of the project very draining...I’m by no means a fast worker when it comes to the technical stuff...some people are BANG BANG BANG...I’M DONE!...but I’ve never been like that, I’ve always been slow with the technical stuff...I’ll spend forty eight hours focusing intensely on trying to figure out how to fix a problem and sometimes never get it figured out...some of my problems I’ve *still* not sorted out after seven years.

I’m really very fast at other things...lighting, camera work, editing and concept design...it’s kinda strange that its like that, but I spose its how I’m wired. In the hypothetical situation of me working for a big company, I would most likely be in one of those areas and the project would be far more efficient...I understand that, I GET it. But there is a deep determination and stubbornness / arrogance in me that wont let go of the INDEPENDENT filmmaking / no budget role / commanding of the army of the eleven Michael Dowswell’s on suicide mission. I’m like the jack russell that wont let go of the squeaky toy.

I’ve got two major projects going...While they Slept (its not had any work done on it in ages but needs attention and I WANT to give it some attention badly...I did today, I opened up some files and had a go at tinkering with one of the shots)...it’s a project I’m actually quite proud of I think. Its certainly been received quite well which helps you feel better about what you do.

I changed the monitor height so that it was on a huge box, so that I had to physically stand at the computer...this lasted two weeks and four days (I’ve just gone back to sitting now today because I believe it was making me feel even more exhausted...My left hand is quite has gone strange with veins that are very see through poking up through the skin, and this is because I keep putting my hand down on the desk while I’m standing...it can get really quite sensitive.

I had damaged my legs from the sitting room chair. The chairs down here I have a tendency to sit on my feet and get pins and needles all day...which i do not know if that has any perminant damage but I'm told it doesn't)

But what was really horrible was that I’ve been getting times where I’ve got very apathetic towards my animation...which is unlike me. This is a tiredness problem and you start to go weird when your very tired...because I know myself with 100% certainty that I love making these films.

I could go on further but I need a rest here. I’m sure that if I go outside and get air...and do some gardening that I might get some clear brain therapy. I think fresh air is important and I don’t get enough of it.

THE SURPRISINGLY GOOD NEW FILM - MICRO MEN

This was really good. A black comedy about the rise and fall of the UK computer business written by Tony Saint and directed by Saul Metzstein.

If your lucky you can watch it here for free (perfectly legal) ...[here]

SATURN 7 - CHARACTER ANIMATION TESTS

Just very quickly here. This is the first time I’ve had to officially back down and say to myself that I need help. And so what you are about to see here is character animation by a company called Dosch Design (that sells human character animation)

There is just no way that I would be able to do human character animation that is this good. I’m good at lighting, camera work and designing things with primitives.

It's because of companies like this that I am able to make better films and so we are indeed living in amazing times for the independent filmmaker.

DOWSWELL ON DOWSWELL PART 4 OF 6

DECISION TIME AGAIN

So I was out of college...I was now a post graduate...six years combined this was (across two art colleges) and I was out. Now things at this point were not good for me health wise...I’d lived on my own in my own personal ground floor flat for two years...and I had drank an awful lot of alcohol and not eaten properly (I had however cycled a lot so my legs were very strong and still are or at least visually they are)...I actually got a car in the final year at college which was an absolute god send with regards to grocery shopping...putting all your shopping into bags or bag is a nightmare on a bike (maybe should have got a huge back pack actually...ah well).

I had to decide on wiether to stay in the city at this flat, or move back home with my parents...many people of course hate going back to the parents after being independent for so long...and I can tell you its not easy...it took a while to adapt...but I believe there are times where you are meant to go into full rest...full R&R...and I needed this.

So I spose what happened next was I got comfortable-ish living at home...and…well, here’s the part that had me uncomfortable in my chair for a few years…

...when I finished the degree, the head lecturer said to me “Michael, you did the wrong degree…you should have done a filmmaking degree.”...and I’ve always kind of thought about film school, and if I should go there (to be honest I still do nowadays sometimes)...but at the same time I felt that it was time to make films...you MAKE them and LEARN that way by MAKING them...but you need a lot of TIME.

But at the same time I was thinking that perhaps going to the big city and meeting like minded film making people might be good for me...it MIGHT lead to you meeting the right people (by that I mean forming the dream crew where you make a film and it’s a success that leads to things)...you hear stories of how such and such filmmaker met such and such a filmmaker at college and how they kept in contact and helped each other out.

But at the same time I had just had six years of education and was quite frankly a bit sick of it. It still bakes my noodle though (as the lady in The Matrix says)...its better not to think about what ifs.

THE NEED TO MAKE MORE FILMS WAS NOW VERY STRONG

So I then embark on seven years of making animations and silent documentaries.

FILMMAKER MIKE PETER REED TALKS ABOUT WHY HE MAKES FILMS

GETTING OLDER

Well now I’m twenty eight. It gets more and more interesting the older you get. Getting older seems to be a constant stream of realising things...you suddenly have a moment where you know / understand something you didn’t for many years.

I am now gradually going bald on the top back section of my head...what the lady said on a podcast I listen to is apparently true (another realising moment)...she said that men start to sprout hair on other various parts of your body...gradually of course!...but it’s kinda unfair!...it is indeed happening though.

MY HERZOG EMAIL

Hello. I’m Michael J. Dowswell, a unknown director trying to get a letter to Werner Herzog.

--------------------------

Dear Werner Herzog,

I really do not know what to write here...ok, I’m going to write something.

I’ve been a big fan of yours for some time now. Your commentaries on the DVD’s were a great comfort to me (that and David Lynch and Terry Gilliam interviews)...and I feel that we share the same passions on a number of topics.

I have never storyboarded...I’ve always seen something special, grabbed my camera, and shot it...spontaneous filmmaking is important to me...happy accidents are important to me...solitude has also been a part of it, and I think the films would not have been possible without the solitude.

I have shot cats seeing and going into snow for the first time in their lives...a massive hydro mechanical cow that does the toilet...and kittens pretend fighting and growing up into adult cats. One time I purchased the wrong classical CD by accident and then later on found myself using a lot of the music on that CD for three of my films.

I very recently had a strange thing happen to me when I watched your film Little Dieter Needs to Fly for the first time (which I loved by the way) and I was somewhat put into a very strange place when I saw a scene in your film where Dieter is in front of a glass window of jelly fish...it was the first time that your film reminded me of my own film From Behind Glass.

With admiration,

Michael J. Dowswell
Independent Director/Cinematographer/Editor

http://www.studiotacitus.co.uk/

DOWSWELL ON DOWSWELL PART 3 OF 6

So now I was doing a slightly unusual three year long degree...the title was Multimedia Design and Digital Animation and this was similar in some respects to the first qualification I did (it was a large number of subjects being thrown at you all at once)...except with the first qualification you didn’t touch a computer...this was pretty much all on a computer.

I use to talk to a friend on the degree, and we both agreed on multiple occasions that there really was nothing...NOTHING else, like what we were doing (that had such massive diverse varation) going on at the art college...it was a very experimental degree and I think it had only been on the go for six years...and because computers are in a state of constant change...so was our degree.

There was graphic design, web site design and web site building, CD ROM design and CD ROM building...that you understand has computer programming in it...3D animation, Video production and a LOT of complaining by the people who were on the degree. You see...

...there were ALL SORTS of different people who had reached different levels of difficulty with regards to using a computer and using 3D software...some had never used any before and some were going onto this degree knowing quite a lot about it...

...also, you see...3D animation consists of a whole bunch of things...Lighting, modelling, technical directing, directing, cinematography, texturing, character animation and story telling. It's really a lot to put on the old plate.

TIMES I WANTED TO LEAVE THE DEGREE BUT DIDN'T

There were moments of real despair with the computer programming because I find that sort of thing very difficult...there was a big focus on GROUP projects in year two and this had a mixture of feelings with me too...but, you have to understand they are putting you into a pressure cooker with that stuff on purpose to get you to learn what it’s like.

THE DECISION TO GO SOLO

Eventually I ended up doing a solo animation as my big finishing project for the degree. It went down very well and some people even started to treat me differently than they had done previously.

It is most odd for people to treat you like shit one minute and then treat you like a king the next...this was going to become a common occurrence for me in the coming years.

DOWSWELL ON DOWSWELL PART 2 OF 6

THE START OF WHAT WAS TO BE SIX YEARS AT ART COLLEGE

So there I was at the beginning of my art college era. I ended up doing three qualifications in a row!...I drew, painted, calligraphied, typographied, technical drew, miniature model made and many other things...and that was all in year one...the qualification was called National Certificate in Art and Design...there was also a photography section...which I liked a lot...it flew past and I was at the end of it. So it was goodbye to all the people I knew and then a decision.

WHAT NEXT?

It’s strange but your always coming to a crossroads when your very young (or for that matter through your entire life really)...you have to decide (or at least well, I was extremely lucky to be in this situation of having a CHOICE where It was POSSIBLE to do this) what to DO next. Deciding what to DO next sometimes is never very easy... (or when you’re a young me it wasn’t...when you’re a present day me it isn’t iether)...but, when your very young, your inexperienced...there’s no combined knowledge that has built up over the years.

For me, I liked the look of the HND in photography (this was going to last two years)...and I was going to come out of it knowing about lenses...(which looking at things now was really vital for things to come)

There was two little sections on this HND of video production, where I did a sort of a car advert and a video about a small zoo. There was a pig there called Basil that we video-ed...that was pretty funny (or him making the noise he made was!)...These projects went down very well with the lecturer in charge of it and I got awarded one merit for each project...he liked my editing ability a lot.

A CHANGE OF COLLEGE

So again it was the question...what do I DO now?...at this stage I was looking at the option of - do you become a wedding photographer?...how do you MAKE MONEY out of being a photographer...I had NO CLUE at all...and I did NOT like the idea of becoming a wedding photographer. I didn’t even know that you could get a job as a stills photographer on short films and feature films...I didn’t KNOW that that even existed until much, much later.

So I ended up at this much bigger art college doing this bizarre degree (that actually got terminated two or three years after I left which I find odd)

DOWSWELL ON DOWSWELL PART 1 OF 6

REACTIONS

As a little kid I did drawings...and there was always (and my mum will tell you) big reactions from adults (teachers and friends of my mother) saying things like “wow...look what that little kid did...he’s got the perspective right and everything”

All the way through my youth all I could do was draw...so what happens to somebody who can only draw?...they end up at art college that’s what happens (not always, ok, not always...but I did...I’m one of the very lucky ones...to have been able to go there...and to be living in a country that is in peaceful times...I’m not living in a war zone...I’m not a homeless child on the streets of Moscow...I was one of the highly privileged people who had a choice...many don’t.)

ILLNESS

I had been off secondary school for four years with a illness called ME and the education people and medics were always wanting me to go back, because there was a fear of me losing out on social skills and also becoming unfit with lack of exercise. They did send me back and it always resulted in me being sent back home. Eventually when I got to age sixteen I was given the choice by somebody (cant remember who exactly but I think it was a english teacher) who said “well you can now legally leave school if you want...you don’t have to be here anymore...you might want to think about that”

And so I did leave school. And at age seventeen I went to Art College with a folder full of drawings.

REAL TIME SAND ART FILM

Keep watching this one...it gets more and more interesting the further into it you get...just simply amazing.

A BETTER QUALITY

Have finally got around to uploading higher quality versions of two more of my silent documentaries From Behind Glass and Into Unknown Terrain both shot in 2006.

BACK ONTO WHILE THEY SLEPT AGAIN

That's right. Who knows for how long?

SOMETHING FUNNY

This really cracked me up and also reminded me a lot of video undernieth it too.





Thanks to Robert Edwards and James Russell for the tips!

SATURN 7 - SNOW TEASER

I'm calling this one the Snow Teaser.

ANOTHER TEASER

Don't worry about the editing here in this...it'll be quite different in the final thing.

SLIGHTLY MORE POLISHED TEASER

A bit happier with this one...but am straight onto working on another one.