THE START OF THE WHITE CITY THAT COST NO MONEY

So why I am now doing this?...well I needed to seriously start to get away from the computer for one thing...and do something physical...and somthing that does't look perfect...I hate my CG work because it looks too perfect and because of the light quality in it (the shadows)...

It’s a bit of a reoccurring thing in art (this whole paint everything white business)...but, as I was doing it...I think I finally realised now, why, so many people have done this. You see it's because if you have no money then this is a way to get something done...all you need is paint...and you grab as many tooth paste boxes and tea boxes as you can.

NO BUDGET CITY

Sorry memory like a sieve at the moment. This is whats happening on my floor at the moment.

Again its more experimentation to see what is possible…it is a lot of fun too (which is what making a film should be?...) but what can be guarantee with this is when that sun of ours appears and I have this all set up (long way to go yet)...I will get real light hitting real things...and that’s my main reason for doing it...that and it gets me away from the damned computer.

MY SHORT STORY "THE VIOLIN" IS FINALLY WRITTEN

It's been a very interesting time with this one. I’ve even done a visual for it (not finished though...and just a experiment really) (area shadows are switched on because of frustrations with shadows)



It's highly, highly unusual for me to sit and write...but I was so incredibly frustrated and had to do it...it turned out to be the coping device I needed and it was also very liberating to write...I’m glad I did it.

WHILE THEY SLEPT ALTERATIONS

Theres a whole load of things going on over here at the moment...one of which is some redo's on scenes ive been doing for my animation While They Slept.

Here's one of them...




Obviously its not finished yet...and this isn’t even the final lighting...but it’s a scene I’ve never been happy with at all...so started a big redesign. I’ve recently been like a priest who's had reoccuring doubts about the existence of god...only my doubts aren’t about god, but are about CG...you see I have some major problems about CG...but I cant help but feel that things need to be completed...and that While They Slept could be used like a animatic or at least record of the designs and edit...I think I’ve said this before...but, it could be used like that...you have to understand that I’m not happy with it as a final product...I want it remade with miniatures...

...like this here...



My hopes and dreams are large...perhaps they are too large?...but I know that miniatures are the way I want to go...and that I want to my films to go to 35mm celluloid or even 70mm celluloid...this is the part where I’m saying that it’s a very big dream...I want to ideally hire Steve Howarth to do miniature models and do it all at Shepperton Studios...its (i'd imagine) ridiculously expencive, and how I get to that stage I have no idea...I'm actually still too scared to even email Steve Howarth!...which is somthing I need to get past!...but its alarming how self doubt can take over fast...because I supose really I'm a man who is not part of the industry and never has been...I'm going to need producers, executive producers and lots of other people...and so I dont want to contact him with it leading to lots of questions I can't give solid, positive, sensible and no nonsense answers to...I want the thing to sound that it's very serious and that it IS going to happen.

All of this has me wanting to have a stab at it myself...which I've been doing but not quite on a level that i'm happy with...I'm doing it all on a no budget level at the moment...more in the next post.

I'M BACK TO THE BLOG

Need to keep this blog going I think...kind of lost the will to live for a while there...it’s a long story but coping devices kicked in (as they always do) and now I’m a bit more relaxed and rational...I get very on edge about things and then it gets ironed out….you just gotto be grateful for life...I;m not living in a war zone...I’m not a homeless child on the streets of Moscow...I am very lucky to be living in a peaceful land with a roof over my head.

GOING TO DO ANOTHER MINIATURE

I’m currently working on my third miniature which is about ten feet by ten feet...In the past (and I can't believe it was exactly 10 years ago now) I made my first miniature set...it was a planet surface and sadly no photos were taken of the damned thing although I did strangely sit there and did a drawing of it...and I have that drawing...I know, strange?...well its been a very strange life. I then in February 2006 did another miniature...it was a sort of inspired I suppose by Cairn Holy which is a place I love. I sprayed water on it this time round and have some photos of it. I learned a lot again...and really did want to expand it (it was very small) but sadly it had to be taken down.

This is my 2006 attempt here...which was unfinished and had to be taken down.



I actually wanted this to be much, bigger and have trees...there was also problems with the soil being too big...but I have that under control this time...you learn a lot with each attempt. It's also wonderfully exciting to work on something that you can shape with your hands and bring rocks in...and sprinkle finely sieved dirt ontop of the larger rocks.

TO DONATION BUTTON OR NOT TO DONATION BUTTON

I’m going crazy over here at the moment. I’m struggling to sort out, in my brain, if it is OK to have a donation button...part of me feels its wrong...because the viewers can only view about 90% of my work online in a low resolution of 320x240...perhaps maybe if there were more HD things to look at I might feel less guilty about it...I want to offer a high quality viewing experience before I put up a donation button. My dad says that because everything of mine can be watched for free and has been enjoyed by some people...they should pay something / donate something if they feel they want to...I spose that is ok...but, I kind of still feel funny about it.

Maybe it's time to render more things out at 1280x544 and then there is a more justified reason for a donation button.

TOTAL OUT OF CONTROL CONFUSION ON WHAT IT IS I’M MEANT TO BE DOING / DIRECTION I’M MEANT TO GOING IN

I look at the animation and all I can think of is...that looks dreadful...this is not good enough...this is not satisfactory...and it makes me 1) Sad 2) Get into a state where I’m thinking of stopping doing it.

This is actually a reoccurring thing that I go through every now and again and I feel I’m in some sort of a loop...which is also sad inducing. All that goes round and round and round in my head is “I don’t know what to do about it”...ever since I created my first animation I’ve been addicted to moving images...and the step backward to anything else that doesn't move has always seemed not acceptable to me...and yet I look at some of my other friends one of which is doing paintings and comics...and there is a far, far better quality going on over there than there is over here...and whats been going on over here has been going on now for 7 years….the loop has been going on for 7 years now for gods sake!...haha *facepalm*

I've recently written a short story...and it’s a really great one (let me just tell you that its highly, highly unsual for me to say that anything of mine is great...but I believe this one is)...and its again quite unusual for me to sit down and write anything at all. So this gets me thinking that perhaps I need to do more of this...there’s is a unbelievably great and out of the blue feeling for me on the freedom you have in writing (when you have been making unending compromises on solo animation making for 7 years)...it felt extremely good...and it also made me think of that children's picture book I put on hold. However I am still very fond of the technique I’ve used to make all of my films...and a'm also amazed at how well it has worked (with regards to pacing and structure in editing...bare in mind i'm quite happy with myself as a editor and cinematogpher...just not happy with the way the animations look)...I get many people who think that my animations have been written and storyboarded...but only one of them was.

It's not good to think too much...there needs to be more action...there’s a saying about if you throw enough shit at the wall some of it will stick...well I’m possibly not throwing enough shit at the wall. (this is regards to the whole lucky break thing and actually it being your full time job and how I dont send my work out)

But if I return over to the satisfaction for telling the story you want to tell (which is a separate topic) thing for a moment (which is all about becoming better at something...we want to get better and better at something...not be stuck in a loop)...Me and my pen pal buddy Cos have a great admiration for Steve Ogden...who made a decision and stuck with it to go over into comics or graphic novel to tell his story.

THE REALISATION THAT YOU HAVE BEEN BULLSHITTED TO FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE PART 2 OF 2

Yeah...another one was somebody saying to me that in order to enjoy making a film it has to be a collaboration and that it should not be done alone. Ok, well how the FUCK does that explain me then?...I have had some wonderful times on my own out there filming in the snow...filming in wild fields...and editing it all on my own too. I’m sorry but that kind of thing is poison being poured into a ear. There is nothing wrong with making films on your own...and I am extremely proud of the four silent documentaries I’ve made...sort of...I just wish they were on 35mm because they deserve to be.

NOTE #01: Sorry about the swearing...don’t take it too seriously.

NOTE #02: I do understand what the person is saying though...I don’t endorse complete daily isolation although some people sadly (and I do feel sorry for these people) have to live on their own. I’ve made a film once with a team...and it was highly, highly enjoyable and extremely memorable...I do kind of miss that...though at the same time was quite frustrating. Yep.

SOME THOUGHTS ON THIS 1080p THING

I think that after one render of one of my shots...I must be insane. It tends to show up the mistakes more...and also you look at it and feel that its not quite detailed enough...arg!...dear god almighty!...

Its also rather large...946MB for 7 seconds!...but, this isn’t / might not be a problem at all...a Terrabyte is pretty cheap nowdays...or, failing that and it doesn't edit and dies on me...I could just throw the shots onto DVD's and wait. It's a game of patience and persistence...or possibly RAM...I possibly need more RAM.

So where does this leave me?...well, I’m still very much in the experimental stages of it all...I want to push to see what is possible really, its interesting seeing it all at this resolution. Maybe I’ll put the teaser trailer onto Youtube in 1080p and get some feedback from people...if nobody can actually get it to play smoothly on their computers or wont download it because its too big...then there’s a problem there I would think.

YOUTUBE IS GOING 1080p

I’m just amazed at how fast things like this are actually happening...It’s a historic moment.

I’ve been rendering my animation Saturn 7 in 720p...but now, I’m changing my mind and going to step it up to 1080p (it’s rendering a shot right now...)...I’ve been working away recently to try and get the render times down and have succeeded.

The problem now of course (and always has been) is getting a audience. But think of it like this...if I ever send something to a company, they can sit there and watch it in 1080p on their big screen or cinema...that is an amazing thing.

For a long time all we could upload was something at 320x240...i rememeber those days well...though they are quite a while back now....but now we are crossing into a new era...we can now right this minute...upload, something at 1920x817...that is just staggering.

JOHN CLEESE ON CREATIVITY

I found this over at wishtales.com and had to post it here.

I conceptually design everything in my animations and so I take a great interest in interior set design in films and TV. I’m not a huge Doctor Who fan and never really have been...Or...perhaps I am huge doctor who fan who just gets disappointed a lot...that might be it...but, whatever the case may be, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love to look and follow...and get genuinely excited when a bran new interior design for the Tardis arrives. It's always very interesting.

To be honest I’ve always seen huge, huge potential with Doctor Who and I actually do love some of it...but I’ve felt there’s been a lot of lost opportunities with it...and that its track record has been rocky. I did however like the Easter Special in 2009...and felt that the Paul McGann one in 1998 was not bad...and how can you not love Tom Baker, John Pertwee and Roger Delgado...and then there was that crush on a few of his assistants like Katy Manning.

Anyway the word on the street is / was that with the new series in 2010 there is going to be a new Tardis interior. So I set out trying to find photos of it and then found this...



...which isn’t from the new Doctor Who at all...but for a moment I thought it was and got very excited...I have to say this is a lovely bit of design work...and i look forward to seeing the new one...there are some images out there for it, but they're very blury and we can hardly see anything.

SATURN 7 TEASER WITH DEPTH OF FIELD AND BIG CHANGE TO SHOT 3

Shot 3 was just not right...the wall looked terribly basic...and I couldn’t seem to figure out how to make it look better (I spose really I should have just redesigned the entire corridor...well, I’ve kind of done that here (in a way))

There’s some extremely annoying technical problems going on over here that make me want to rip my hair out. The Depth of field doesn’t seem to work very well in cinema 4D 9...or...I’m not doing it properly...but I’ve fiddled around with it for hours and cant make any sense of it.

THE REALISATION THAT YOU HAVE BEEN BULLSHITTED TO YOUR ENTIRE LIFE...OR, JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING CAUSED BY NOT BEING AWARE OF SENSITIVE PEOPLE / OBSES

SIONAL MINDS / PERFECTIONISTS

There came a point in my life where I suddenly thought…”you know, various people you bump into when your young pour poison in your ear (probably not even aware of it and the damage its doing to the sensitive young obsessional artist) while your on your art college.”….there are various people who tell you that you shouldn’t be doing this and shouldn’t be doing that...example:

“you can’t draw horses like that...you have drawn them wrong. You can’t draw a tree like that...you‘ve drawn it wrong...”

These were teachers (who I don’t know how long they’ve taught at these art colleges), but you got the impression they had been there since the dawn of time (which is something I don’t think I fully agree with...I don’t think teaching for over twenty five years has done SOME of them any good) I’ve actually heard reports of young people who stop doing their art because some bastard lecturer has unwittingly said that “oh...your drawing that all wrong...”

SOLUTION FOR THE TEACHER:
These teachers have to be aware of the current mental condition of the student...and aware of the real outside world. They also should know a bit about psychology.

SOLUTION FOR THE STUDENT:
Information. The student (if very young) is going to acquire knowledge through experience...but I recommend studying a bit of psychology and remember the real world is completely different to the education world.

Perhaps I went to art college far to young...I was only sixteen when I started up...and had not had any interaction with any other people other than my parents for four years.

I’ve heard multiple times from fully grown adults that they cant / don’t have the right to do something until they have gone on a course and be taught the “proper” way to do it. Now don’t get me wrong...my degree introduced me to Cinema 4D and I am internally grateful for that. But be careful what you let people tell you and how it effects you…there is a very clear line between the education world, and what actually goes on out in the real world.

You’ll notice that various people went ahead and drew a tree the way they wanted to draw a damn tree, and became very famous and made a living out of what they do.

ANOTHER VERSION OF THE TEASER

It's getting a bit silly now (how many times I've uploaded this) but I keep trying to improve it with the details.

TWO MORE PROPS FOR SATURN 7

The prop designing and building is still going on.

PIGEON IMPOSSIBLE

It’s been completed...and I have nothing but a ever increasing accumulating admiration for Lucas...he did not wander off onto another project like I seem to have done over the last five years...it takes a incredible discipline to do that. He’s focused on quality, quality, quality.

I want to know what he’s going to do now though...because I cant help but see it says at the start Martell Animation...does this mean that he’ll continue on with his own company?...I really hope so.

WALK ON THE WILD SIDE - ALAN

Tears were literally streaming down my face at this one. I don’t think that’s happened since I was sitting in a cinema watching Little Miss Sunshine.

WHITTLE IT DOWN

I took the trailer (not the one below this but the previous one) to a fairly no nonsense artist and critic (I’ll add that he was most definitely constructive with his criticism and that it was 100% realistic)...I needed to do this. And he was right. So I’ve been adding details. The thing you have to remember with all of this I think, is, to whittle it down...so I started on the little box that’s in shot three. Here is a before and after….and a old still of the corridor (which is very similar to how it looks anyway)...its true that what he said is right...he said that it looked far too basic, and that it was like it was in the middle of a Work In Progress.

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED...ADD MORE DETAIL?

It's one way to try and make things better...but it's still frustrating me.

NICK PARK 20 QUESTIONS

Another hero of mine.

ALIEN - 1979

Again another strong influence for me because of the way it's shot, edited and paced.

It's something I keep having to be aware of and remind myself to watch it every once in a while. It's a important film for me, and I honestly consider to be one of the very best science fiction films ever made...it induces me into a instant clarity of thinking about what science fiction is to me personally, and what excites me about the genre.

STANLEY KUBRICK

He honestly is without a doubt one of my biggest if not thee biggest influences of my work. I think the other major influence has been Werner Herzog and of course probably my father, who loves science fiction, classical music and computers...and so I grew up surrounded by science fiction, classical music and computers. But it still gets down to what you love, and I love classical music very much...so with Stanely I've always loved the use of the music...but It's also very much the editing and the wide angle photography that has me engrossed and highly influenced...I love the way he shot everything.

Stanley Kubrick's love for James Cagney and him seeing that Jack Nicholson had a similar sort of quality was a great thing for cinema when The Shining arrived.

And oddly I love synthesizers too. His collaborations with Wendy Carlos doing cover versions of famous tunes was another stroke of genius. Theres something incredibly wonderful about the noise that is generated from them. Nowadays we are extreamly lucky to live in a era where its possible to buy somthing that does the same sounds for not much money at all.

THE CURRENT SITUATION

So why are things so slow?...well the problem with being a linear organism and artist (with the invention of time and having goals / the pursuit of better films), is that with each new project you want to increase the detail level to “better” the previous film. With High Definition there’s now this strong desire all the more so, because of the increase of resolution. There’s also the very true statement about how detail is king...wait no, story is king.

Wait no...I’m sorry but so is detail. Now this creates a problem for me, because detail takes TIME to do. It’s a solo project and therefor a bit of a suicide mission because It makes the project much more fatigue inducing...its not as quickly manageable or instantly gratifying I think...meaning you are in a slower speed...which leads to a fatigue...that or...well, I’m getting older I spose. Not that old though...only twenty eight.

If story is king (which it is) then I may be in a spot of trouble there too. But I’ve been told that I create experiences...and I spose that might be ok...I don’t know if it is or not...ok it probably is ok...or is it? Certainly I’d love my characters to talk (that would be really nice and something ive wanted for years now). So I want to progress to talking characters...who wouldn’t?...its normal.

Internet friend and pen pal Mr Cos reckons that we are both in need of satisfaction and aren’t getting it...and I think he’s hit the nail on the head here 100%...it’s a case of not feeling satisfied.

So the answer may be, to go back to simpler set design which enables me to push forward in a far more satisfying way...hmm. I don’t honestly and realistically feel that I would be happy with that either.

SATURN 7 - TEASER 3 HD

I'm sorry that the progress is so painfully slow...it anoys me greatly that it goes so slow...it wasn't always like this. but thats the HD online now...I think the HD cheers me up a bit, it's certainly nice and sharp.

SATURN 7 - TWO SET TESTS

Working on a high definition widescreen one of this same little clip now. This 1.25:1 version seemed to be a bit of a disaster over at blip TV with the compression, and i really dont know why that happened...the original file looks fine.

I’m afraid I’m still in the conflicted state of not knowing wither to go 1.25:1 SD or 2.35:1 HD.