Wednesday 18 November 2009

TOTAL OUT OF CONTROL CONFUSION ON WHAT IT IS I’M MEANT TO BE DOING / DIRECTION I’M MEANT TO GOING IN

I look at the animation and all I can think of is...that looks dreadful...this is not good enough...this is not satisfactory...and it makes me 1) Sad 2) Get into a state where I’m thinking of stopping doing it.

This is actually a reoccurring thing that I go through every now and again and I feel I’m in some sort of a loop...which is also sad inducing. All that goes round and round and round in my head is “I don’t know what to do about it”...ever since I created my first animation I’ve been addicted to moving images...and the step backward to anything else that doesn't move has always seemed not acceptable to me...and yet I look at some of my other friends one of which is doing paintings and comics...and there is a far, far better quality going on over there than there is over here...and whats been going on over here has been going on now for 7 years….the loop has been going on for 7 years now for gods sake!...haha *facepalm*

I've recently written a short story...and it’s a really great one (let me just tell you that its highly, highly unsual for me to say that anything of mine is great...but I believe this one is)...and its again quite unusual for me to sit down and write anything at all. So this gets me thinking that perhaps I need to do more of this...there’s is a unbelievably great and out of the blue feeling for me on the freedom you have in writing (when you have been making unending compromises on solo animation making for 7 years)...it felt extremely good...and it also made me think of that children's picture book I put on hold. However I am still very fond of the technique I’ve used to make all of my films...and a'm also amazed at how well it has worked (with regards to pacing and structure in editing...bare in mind i'm quite happy with myself as a editor and cinematogpher...just not happy with the way the animations look)...I get many people who think that my animations have been written and storyboarded...but only one of them was.

It's not good to think too much...there needs to be more action...there’s a saying about if you throw enough shit at the wall some of it will stick...well I’m possibly not throwing enough shit at the wall. (this is regards to the whole lucky break thing and actually it being your full time job and how I dont send my work out)

But if I return over to the satisfaction for telling the story you want to tell (which is a separate topic) thing for a moment (which is all about becoming better at something...we want to get better and better at something...not be stuck in a loop)...Me and my pen pal buddy Cos have a great admiration for Steve Ogden...who made a decision and stuck with it to go over into comics or graphic novel to tell his story.

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